From Beer To Eternity

New Years Eve

2011-12-11T22:03:00.000+11:00

It's getting to that time of year. Well Christmas is closer, but that's not what I'm talking about at the present time.

Hey maybe I should do a post about the various Christmas beers that are available currently?

Topical.

Damn. I should have got a Melbourne photo.

Anyway, New Years Eve is approaching and myself and Rian are planning on emulating last years event where we spent 3 hours (and silly money....) buying up what we thought were our favourite beers from the year from several bottle shops around Melbourne to see in the new year in style. Whew, that was a long sentence. I'll work on it, I promise.

The night was one of the great New Years Eve's of recent times and we knew immediately that it would be a tradition for the foreseeable future.

So we had it all planned 12 months in advance but with one key improvement. We'd ACCUMULATE the best picks over the whole year!

Excellent strategy! We wouldn't leave anything out, and we'd also be kinder to our credit cards in the festive season.

So the list compilation has been going on for 12 months now. It's gotten really long.

Wait, was that beer that we had in February really NYE worthy? I can't remember. And what about THIS beer?

Clearly, the only sensible option was to stage a Semi Final to qualify if some choices were worthy of the main event and to try some new beers that we thought might be special.

That Semi Final, my friends, occurred on Friday night. It was a splendid night indeed, but don't think it really helped our situation. For starters, we didn't revisit any selections to see if they held up. We had all new beers, and some were absolute belters.

The Ruination IPA from the Stone Brewing Company, Diamond Knot's Industrial IPA and the Yeastie Boys Red Rackham all made strong cases to be there for NYE.

So the list got longer.

Worst outcome for a Semi Final ever. Traditionally, a semi final would halve the field in order to ultimately decide one winner.

Having said that, with more first class beer to be had on the night the winners are clearly us.

Which beers are on the list? Now I'm not going to divulge all of them here. (I can totally get another post about the night and tell you then...)

However, you can imagine that Untappd will get a royal beating that night so you'll be able to see what we've got there.

On the night the tweets will be flowing like the beer, so if you don't want to be bombarded with things you probably aren't interested in then I'd suggest unfollowing us for a while.

No, wait. Don't unfollow us. Follow us. We'll be hashtagging (or "trending"? Is that the term the kids are using these days?) #FBTENYE. It'll be fun, I promise.

Happy Festivus, y'all.

Nostalegia

2011-08-27T23:34:00.000+10:00

Symbolism.

A misspelling in the title of this post?

No it's not actually. It's another poor attempt at a beer pun. Inserting "ale" into the word "nostalgia", if you are still having difficulty with it. Forget it.

The sense of smell is perhaps the most evocative trigger for the memory, and perhaps this is part of the reason why enjoying a beer can set off an unmistakable, lucid recollection of past events.

A reminder of relaxing on a beach in the midst of summer, the first time you had your mind blown by a huge hop hit or huddled up in front of a fireplace on a winters night are all potentially accessed in an instant once again by the taste or smell of a beer.

This happened to me very recently and the memory was so vivid I really felt like I was instantly transported 13,000 kms back to the western shores of Mexico.

Before my eyes were opened to microbrewed beer I had traveled to Mexico for 6 months as a reward for... all the hard... something to do with... well I went to Mexico for 6 months.

I hadn’t ventured into the world of beer that actually had taste and character and was only really exposed to bland Australian macro lagers and Euro lagers so this world of Mexican beers seemed pretty exciting.

I was sophisticated enough to know that I wasn’t interested getting Coronas while I was there and it seemed that even Mexicans didn’t drink Coronas.

But what was this? Dos Equis? Modelo Especial? Negra Modelo? Yeah this was all pretty interesting stuff. I mean, they probably are more interesting than Carlton Draught and VB but by no means are the flavours that great among these beers.

None of these were enjoyed more than the Pacifico Clara, which became my beer of choice when I was out and about.

The beers were always served with a plate of sliced lime and a dish of salt and the expectation was that you dipped the lime in the salt and then squeezed it in to the beer. I was never a fan of adding lime to beer, even when my palate was only grappling with Becks and Carlsberg I always queried: “If it needs lime added to it then how good can it be?” Fair question I thought, but this is the way everyone was doing it so “When in Rome”. Or Mazatlan as the case may be. Mexico City too. Look, you get what I mean.

Sitting on the beach in the sun with a Pacifico was just about as good an afternoon as I could imagine.

Just for some clarification for you all. I mentioned I’ve had the Pacifico recently and my palate has evolved out of recognition since then. The Pacifico is just a bland, mass produced lager. At the time however, perfect.

About a week ago I went to MexiCali restaurant on Swan St in Richmond. I had the faintest breath of a hope that there may be some Mountain Goat beer as just about all the places in Richmond have some Mountain Goat at the ready. Alas there was not, so I thought I would revisit my holiday favourite.

The first sip was disappointing. Dull. Boring. Still probably one of the better beers on the list. I worked through the beer with effort but figuring that I’d probably get another one after as the other two options were Carlton Draught and Corona. The end of the beer is where it hit me.

In the last mouthful of the beer I could have sworn I had a strong taste of lime and even a lime seed at the bottom of the bottle. Instantly I was back in a hammock on a hot day in a totally different hemisphere. My fluency in the Spanish language came back and I was immediately less punctual. Is that offensive? It might be, but that’s really beside the point.

The personal nostalgic value that this beer holds for me far outweighs the objective quality of the beer and takes me back to the best holiday of my life so far. This might be spoiled and ruined if I decided to have this beer more than once in a blue moon.

I don’t think that’s really going to be a problem.

Raiding the Red Hill Brewers Secret Stash

2011-06-11T16:52:00.021+10:00

Such was the sense of adventure and joy afforded from our last trip down to Red Hill (for the launch of the Hop Harvest and the newly installed hand-pump tap), that it was with no hesitation or trepidation that Dave and I jumped on the opportunity to spend another Saturday morning making the lengthy trip down the Nepean Highway to one of Victoria's most aesthetically pleasing breweries. Laying unassumingly in the hills just inland from Mornington Peninsula's scenic coastline, surrounded by woodlands and boasting it's own hop farm, the Red Hill Brewery could almost claim to be situated right in the heart of "God's Country", or if not, certainly the well-kept backyard of some middle-shelved deity.

The Brewer's Secret Stash was a chance for punters to try Red Hill's ever increasing, always impressive collection of aged and limited edition ales in the one place, on tap, for one weekend only. Boasting a tap line-up including the Barrel-aged Imperial Stout, Temptation Ale, Weizenbock and the Christmas Ale as well as the promise of a beer-matched menu of gourmet treats, it was a red circle calender date for any beer lover with adequate transportation, or in our case, someone willing to drive us. (Thanks Tiff!)

If that wasn't already reason enough to fill a car with beer drinkers and head south, it also coincided with the much anticipated launch of the brewery's brand new India Black Ale, which would be pouring through the recently installed traditional beer engine, or hand pump. This launch, alone would have probably been enough to drag us down the coast, away from such city luxuries as mobile phone reception and all-day kebab vans, so the combination of the two was a well-pleasing bonus, if not a deal-clincher.

There is something quite exciting about finally arriving at the brewery. Whether it be the sight of the hop yards as you close in on the entrance, the first glimpse of the rustic, wooden brewhouse, giving a sense of arriving at an old farmhouse, the anticipation of having a range of quality craft beers to sample or just the relief of being able to stretch ones legs after a long drive, arrival at Red Hill is always met with a sense of occasion. The bar/restaurant has an eclectic country-pub-meets-city-beer-garden charm that plays on the brewery's surrounding gardens and farmlands, making it impossible not to feel welcomed and relaxed. An astute environment for the sampling

of quality beers.

We kicked of the session with a pint of hand-

drawn India Black Ale, a style of beer that has seen a surge in the local beer culture of late. But few breweries are giving drinkers the chance to try the style from the traditional hand pump, so we were keen to see the effect that reduced carbonation would have.

Brewers Simon and Tim had been given a little creative license, with this brew being a one-off specialty batch, and while the first taste was somewhat unassuming, it developed in depth and character with every subsequent drink. A balance of upfront bitterness and a rich, lingering malt

character makes this a particularly session-able ale, that could really be enjoyed on a cold wintry night or a balmy summers eve in equal measures. Certainly an excellent follow-up to my favourite Australian beer of 2011 so far, the Hop Harvest Ale. I also must offer thanks to Mr Dave Golding who allowed me to fulfill a long time dream of mine to hand draw my own beer via the traditional beer engine... cementing once and for all, any accusation that i am, in fact, a beer nerd.

We followed a couple of pints of the India Black Ale with the Imperial Stout, which was a particular favourite of both Dave and myself from 2010, as well as sampling the Christmas Ale and the Temptation. With the food-pairings on the special Secret Stash menu, and an abundance of fine ales in this beautiful surrounding, it was hard not to sit back and be content with one's lot in life... We weren't the only ones enjoying ourselves either. Beer lovers, families, couples and groups of mates filled the bar and restaurant, many of whom were sporting the "I found the Brewers Secret Stash" tankards that came ale-filled as part of the booking fee. We were also treated to a tour of the brewhouse and a rundown on the production process of some of the better known Red Hill beers. Sheer beerporn.

In summary, the Brewers Secret Stash really succeeded in showcasing the passion, diversity and quality from a brewery that has only been brewing since 2005, while the India Black Ale proved their adaptability to tackle new styles with their own unique flair.

All in all, a top day trip and the recent opening of the Mornington Peninsula Brewery not too far away has meant that you can really justify making the drive and spending a day down the coast, taking in some of Victoria's (if not Australia's) top beers.

With the brewhouse buzzing with the anticipation

of the impending Imperial Stout (we understand the brewers are quite excited by the progress so far), and a rumoured new Weizenbock recipe on the horizon, I can say without hesitation that it won't be too long at all before Dave and I load up the car again and make the trip south.

Thanks again must go to our official "blogtographer" Jeremy Daniell for accompanying us and taking photos of a quality beyond that which we can write. And thanks to Tiffany for driving us back.

Feral Tap Takeover Roundup

2011-06-07T19:10:00.001+10:00

The Feral Brewing Company took over all of the taps at The Local Taphouse in St. Kilda.

Simple idea. Right?

Firstly, The Local Taphouse has got 20 taps in operation. How many breweries have got 20 beers? Not that many.

How many breweries have got 20 beers that are unique and have the diversity to make it an interesting event? Even less.

Feral are one of those few, and they brought the nice in kegfuls.

Along for the ride was Jeremy Daniell (now becoming the official photographer for From Beer To Eternity) and took some absolutely beautiful shots of the event.

We spotted The Local Taphouse’s own Ange trying to get some work done and help the event move along smoothly, but we endeavored to interrupt her at every opportunity and talk about the beers (and beer in general) and she agreed to sit down with us and have a bit of a chat for our little blog. How nice of her! Here is what we got:

Dave: What do you think of this kind of craft beer event?

Ange: I think it’s incredible to give a brewery the chance to showcase a huge amount of their beer styles to show what they’re capable of. Feral are up there as my favourite brewery in Australia and they do so well experimenting with a range of different styles and producing at such a high quality.

Dave: Some tap highlights?

Ange: It’s really, really nice to try something that uses salt, most beers that you get capture the floral aroma and bitterness to it, but you don’t get many that have that savoury bite to it. Traditionally a lot of beers would have used that savoury element so what I find really interesting about craft beers is the reintroduction of really old styles, so Jose the Gose is definitely a highlight for me. Especially running through the Funky Brewster it’s really full on but at the same time it’s highlighting that savoury saltiness. The Fanta Pants is definitely one of my favourites, the Barrel Fermented Hop Hog is just a stand out. The last time we had that it was the first time I’d tried anything of that calibre in terms of the complexity of flavours. The fresh moss and vanilla and the sweet earthy flavours really go together perfectly. Thats actually my favourite.”

Now doesn’t that make you want to know more about the selection they were showcasing? I thought as much. Luckily I’ve got it covered.

Each beer on offer didn’t get a concentrated review but I did try and get tasting notes for each of them.

So here we go:

983 Pale

A very unique pale ale using the sorachi hop variety. A delicate balance of lemongrass and vanilla, but with a nutty taste that comes through a bit like coconut. The malt really balances it out to make a very good pale ale.

The Runt

2010’s Champion Ale in the AIBA awards. Stonefruit aromas bleed over into the fruity palate with mainly passionfruit flavours. A nice, easy, long flavour. Easy to justify the accolades. Easy to justify on a sunny day.

Sail and Anchor IPA

This is a pretty interesting IPA. It has a banana aroma that is quite distinct from other IPA’s. The banana also comes through in the initial taste. Stretching out with a fruity sweetness makes this one a highly sessionable one.

Jose the Gose

Well hello there. Here’s a different one. There’s a light sourness on the nose. A smooth, creamy mouthfeel makes it fairly easy to drink. Brewed with salt and coriander, this is a real savoury treat. The salt is a primary flavour, but it’s not overpowering. I had a huge urge to buy fish and chips with this beer.

Then, through the Funky Brewster it is even more extreme. Served though caper berries it gives a much bigger, sour aroma. The aftertaste of the salt and coriander is intense and it provides the most unique experience of the night.

Farmhouse Ale

A nice floral, fruity nose. A very pleasantly balanced Saison. The taste progresses to green apples and riesling. All the characteristics you’d come to expect from a lovely farmhouse ale.

Golden Ace

The latest of the Feral range to be bottled and distributed, and we can see why. The Golden Ace has the perfect balance that is the signature of the tried and true Feral ales. It starts with a pleasant, floral aroma with a citrus hint. The lemon carries through in the inital taste and lingers nicely. Balanced with a Belgian style malt. After it warms, you can pick up some coconut characteristics.

Funky Junkie

The big, sour invention from Feral is quite unique! The aroma offers up a sour, fruity waft that really heightens the anticipation for this one, and the taste did not disappoint. A big, sour taste that is balanced by a mild sweetness from the malt. One punter on the night suggested fruit tingles, which isn’t far off really. You could add this beer to fruit salad for some serious harmony.

iWit 2.0

Brewed with orange peel and white pepper, these come through straight away in the aroma. This is really unlike any wheat beer I’ve had. The pepper and ginger flavours in this beer make it a very drinkable wit. The pepper aftertaste is quite remarkable.

Nice Guy, Dud Root

This brown ale sports a nice, coffee aroma on the nose, with a little bit of sweetness sneaking in. The first taste is just a classy, malty brown ale. The overall taste is rich and malty with a hint of aniseed. A solid brown ale.

Smoked Porter

A little subtle smokiness on the nose with the addition of some sweetness. Some warmth lets out some toffee character too. A beautiful sweetness on the palate. A really good, malty, smokey porter.

Hop Hog

The winner of this years Champion Ale from AIBA. A solid classic. Do I even need to describe it? Fine, okay. Beautiful, hoppy aroma with a touch of citrus to it. Lovely hoppy ale, but you already knew that. The #3 selection in the Critics Choice top 100 beers for 2010. THe flagship Feral beer.

Barrel Fermented Hop Hog

Fermented in new French oak barrels. It’s sweeter on the nose than it’s regulation counterpart. The oak comes through beautifully. It’s dryer, cleaner and sweeter. Improving the Hop Hog is no mean feat, but Feral have managed to do it.

Karma Citra

One of the first India Black Ales to surface this year, when they are set to pop up all over Australia. The citrusy, fruity aroma completely defies the black colour of the beer. This is offset by a smoky nose. A smoky flavour teams up with a sweet malt and strong bitterness form the citra hop. Very good IBA.

Sail & Anchor Brass Monkey

Fantastic chocolate malty aroma for this Oatmeal Stout. It’s got a pretty light body for a stout, but a nice licorice flavour rounds out the taste. An extra kick is added by a good finishing hint of espresso to wrap it up.

Fanta Pants

A very big, hoppy aroma (a tick in my book). It’s also got a staggering, deep red colour. An immediate sweetness is closely followed by the big, bitter hop hit. Simultaneous sweet malt and the hop bitterness make this unusually balanced for such a strong character. The red colour really is striking for it’s taste.

Rust

A good, true to style Belgian Dubbel style ale without compromising any of the Feral uniquity (<--- that’s not a word, but it should be). The taste is a big, sweeping dubbel and finishes strongly with some candied banana. A double excellent dubbel (I must have had a few too many barrel fermented Hop Hogs before I wrote that last comment...)

Razorback

A really lovely, sticky sweet nose, almost like a sticky date pudding aroma that invites you to dive in. The taste hints of coconut flavour. The 9.8% ABV is hidden like Wally (toward the end of the book, not the start where it’s easy to find him.) with it tasting like a 7% at most. Danger. The flavour tails off with a lovely liqueur taste. Very nice.

Boris

Jet black Imperial Russian Stout. An odd, almost clover-like aroma that really bears no resemblance to the flavour. A big, rich, nutty stout that has a unique quality of the warming agent of the alcohol but being off set by the hop character adding a cooling character. Big, Winter warming stout.

Still reading? Interesting. I thought without being able to taste the beers and having to struggle through my boring tasting notes you’d be bored and have gone on to YouTube or something.

This event is an excellent showcasing of everything that a single brewery can do and I sincerely hope that this gets replicated, even if on a smaller scale with smaller breweries it really is wonderful to be able to taste everything that a brewery has to offer side by side.

My final point will be this: Barrel Fermented Hop Hog. Mmmmmmm.

Good Beer Week - Doin’ it Moon Dog Style

2011-05-23T23:34:00.000+10:00

It’s no secret that I’m a little bit obsessed with the beer from the Moon Dog boys. It’s also no secret why, if you’ve had any of their beers then you know exactly what I’m talking about.

I don’t want to discuss it. On with the beers!

In no particular order;

The George Freeth Memorial Tropical Brown Ale

Even though as a brewery Moon Dog is relatively young, they have already established a reputation and an understanding that what they produce will be bold, unique and extreme.

So the idea of a coconut-pineapple brown ale was not out of the realms of expectation for Moon Dog, or even of onlookers.

The aroma had the nutty coconut nose to it but only floating just above a lovely, sweet malt aroma. Now, the taste was something quite extraordinary.

The pineapple is always there, the coconut is always there. Most importantly it’s a really excellent big bodied brown ale that would stand up on it’s own with no difficulty at all. The genius to this beer is that it ties all these strong elements together and presents a superbly balanced coconut-pineapple-brown ale.

Mrs Parmas came up with a Hawaiian Parma that complimented The George Freeth like a dream.

A very special beer.

Cock Sockin’ Ball Knockin’ Chipotle Stout

This just.....well I don’t even....you see there’s....

Let me start again by going straight into the beer.

Straight out of the tap this beer has a big, warming aroma that establishes anticipation that makes your mouth water.

Then your eyes water, and you realize it’s the chipotle kicking in.

This is a really classy stout with a wonderfully smooth mouthfeel. A stout with a big malty body, and hints of coffee and chocolate. Let it warm up a little and you see a little more chocolate wander along, closely followed by a hint of cherry but never leaving behind the chipotle finish that rounds out the experience.

A classy, solid, highly drinkable stout.

BUT WAIT.

The Local Taphouse also ran this beer through it’s own Funky Brewster crammed with chipotle peppers and cascade hops. And believe me, this is the game changer.

Clearly this brings a huge chili heat to the beer, but it never overpowers the stout flavour. All of a sudden the chipotle flavour brutishly pulls up cherry and coconut flavours and you have an extremely bold, extremely Moon Dog version of a big stout.

Whilst warm this beer is phenomenal.

The Artisan Poser

Doctored image? You decide.

It seems funny to think that Moon Dog would have a “classic” beer, but this certainly fits that mould.

A honey roasted spiced imperial pumpkin ale is the correct description of this arrangement of flavours, and it doesn’t fail on any of those promised components.

This smooth, spiced ale is highly sessionable. In fact, I wish I had one right now. A perfect winter-warming beer that is distinct, but has a lot of subtlety swirling around it. A visual treat, this beer doesn’t hold back on anything. The pumpkin flavour is fresh and wonderful, and this is balanced some sweet spices and a beautiful malt character.

Let it warm to get the Moon Doggedness truly show itself with all the character becoming more apparent. More malty sweetness, more fresh pumpkin flavour and more sweet spices lift to the surface and highlights just what these lads can do.

I’m gutted that I only managed to snag one pint this time around. I’ll try harder next time.

Raindrops On Roses, and Hairs On Chests

A beast of an IPA. Not just any IPA though. Rose petals and rose water are used to calm it down a little bit, but at around 11% ABV this still has some attitude.

As an IPA loving hop-head, reading the description of this beer conjured a great deal of anticipation for me. Then I found out it was going to be on at Penny Blue going through the handpump. I nearly cried (of joy, I assure you).

I wandered off down Elizabeth St. at 4pm after work on the Tuesday before I met Rian for some Crafty Crawl work at about six.

Two hours I would have to enjoy the Raindrops on Roses! The joy!

But alas, when I did arrive there was nobody who could change the keg. I nearly cried again (not of joy this time).

I returned on the Wednesday I was certainly not disappointed.

A lovely hoppy aroma greeted me out of the glass with a hint of rose sneaking through.

The taste had me at hello. It’s a big, hop driven IPA with a smooth, sweet malt body. It really hides the ABV (which might be dangerous) tasting more like an 8% at most. The subtle rose character is a really interesting way to soften the big, mean IPA attack and really does compliment it well.

I described it to a couple of people as a less harsh version of BrewDog’s Hardcore IPA, but with the rose infusion. Does that help anyone? Probably not. I don’t know why I mentioned it.

This IPA was enhanced by the fact that Penny Blue were running it out of the handpump. So smooth. The way this kind of beer should be!

I may have gone back each day until it was out...

The Black Lung

A mighty impressive, mighty barrel aged porter.

A hot contender for my favourite Moon Dog beer from Good Beer Week. Hmm? You don’t care which was my favourite? I figured as much.

The Black Lung is bold from go to woe. A barrel aged smokey porter. It just sounds good doesn’t it?

It’s a real trophy to look at. It was almost a shame to take the first sip as it slightly ruined the perfect picture.

It’s a sessionably (beside a fireplace with a pipe and a robe kind of sessionability) solid porter but has the beautifully smoky character in the aroma.

The bourbon aged characteristic is immediate before it settles down into a glorious, rich, malty porter that consumes every thought until the glass is empty.

The Black Lung is the kind of beer that can make you forget that you didn’t actually pay for anything at Josie Bones before you left and have to call up the next day and sheepishly give over credit card details...

No, forget that. This beer isn’t anything like that.

The Abbotsford Collaboration Ale

This article wouldn’t be complete without mention of the collaboration ale that Moon Dog were a part of, known as the “Abbey Collabbey” to it’s friends.

Moon Dog, Mountain Goat and Matilda Bay put their wonderful heads together to concoct something would have a little piece of each of them inside a pint glass, and the result was remarkably successful.

A dark Belgian Dubbel was agreed upon as the style they would produce, but the Moon Dog paw print was set down in the form of belgian waffles and raisins added to the brew.

At the launch at the Mountain Goat Brewery the Abbey Collabbey was being poured very cold which revealed a really interesting dubbel, but it wasn’t until it warmed up until the real delights of this beer were revealed.

A lot is happening in this beer, with the waffle flavour coming on and the mixed spiced flavours from the raisins and dark sugars becoming more apparent.

This beer has got the drinkability that you would associate with Matilda Bay, the outlandish flavours of Moon Dog, and when this is combined it just feels like a Mountain Goat beer.

Quite a remarkable beer, and one that I will be seeking out again before it runs out.

In summary we’ve seen some flexing of the muscles of Moon Dog and we’ve been shown just what these guys can really do. If you’re not excited by them then I don’t know what it takes to excite you.

Once these guys hit full production there will be good times had by all.

I will be buying a hell of a lot of Moon Dog beer.

End transmission.

Good Beer Week: The Adventures of Captain Blackbeer & Long John Pilsner #1

2011-05-16T23:19:00.011+10:00

DAY ONE: Moondog's & Craftymen.

'Twas late one evening in a small port-side tavern in Barbados, I was sipping mead from my tankard and casting my eyes upon some fine local wenches, when a old, sea-weathered pirate pulled up a stool at my table, his body crooked from battle, his face telling a thousand stories through each scar and wrinkle. From under his beaten hat, he pulled a tattered map, coughed into his sleeve then looked me straight in me good eye and said "Over the seas, there be a port called Melbourne-on-Yarra... If you be brave enough to find it, you'll be finding Ol' Crafty's treasure... " He handed me the map, which I accepted hesitantly. I studied it carefully, twas like no map I'd seen before, but it bared the unmistakable mark of Good Beer Week... I'd heard tales of riches untold from Good Beer Week, and the legendary Ol' Crafty. But Ol' Crafty was a cunning operator, he'd spread his hidden treasure across the great port of Melbourne-On-Yarra. I looked up from the map to find the old, weatherbeaten pirate gone... as had the local wenches, come to think of it... cheeky bastard...

That night, upon my ship, the Imperial Black Pale, I lay awake in my quarters, unable to avert my eye from the map. Could it be done? Could all the treasure be found by one man? I couldn't do it alone, I'd need a crew. I needed to go for a walk, to clear my head. Twas not long before I found my crew. One man. Long John Pilsner. As I walked along the waterfront of the port, my eye fell upon him looting a local mead house, loading barrel after barrel of mead and ale onto his ship singlehandedly. After a sharing of stories and mead, he agreed to join me, so long as the booty was split 50/50 and I kept my hands off his stash of mead.

A month later, we caught first glimpse of Melbourne-on-Yarra, as we sailed the Imperial Black Pale into Port Cookie. This be a port that was not readied for the likes of two of the ocean's fiercest pirates, but with a long quest ahead, we made certain not to draw further attention, so we chose a dim lit corner and ordered two Bridge Rd Brewery Dog's Breakfast, and settled in to study the map further.

Long John Pilsner was the first to taste this hearty brew.
"Oi, Captain, this be the finest breakfast beer I've had in all me times, this'd be lovely with a plate of fried mutton and eggs. Get that smoky lager down yer" he bellowed across the table. I took my own sip. He'd be right. What balance of flavours and depth in texture. It reminded me of the kind of breakfasts my old Mam used to make, before I sold her for 12 gold pieces and a flagon of ale.

"Aye, cracking beer be this Dog's Breakfast, fantastic for a dark lager", I offered in return.

After much heated discussion and cutlass wielding, we both decided to set sail for our first treasure ground, Mrs Parma's Cove. The seas were treacherous, but we were able to parallel park our ship relatively close to the mouth of the cove. We were getting close to fortune and glory. If the old pirate's tattered Good Beer Week map was true, we would find the precious George Freeth Memorial Tropical Brown Ale from Moondog. We entered the Cove's only tavern with swords drawn, but were met with other seafarers who'd come to seek refreshment and were not interested in trouble. Out of respect, we returned our swords to their sheaths, and found a table.

One of the tavern maids called us over for a quiet word. "You come seeking the Tropical Brown Ale?"

"ye knows too much to be talkin' bout the Moondog in these parts" I scowled, hoping the other seafarers in the room had not heard her question. Pilsner pulled me away, offering his apologies, "Aye, tis the brown ale we seek, wench." he followed with. She smiled at him in a way that displayed her full set of white teeth, something we seafarers need not the luxury of. She opened up a small cabinet and removed two tankards. Then filled them with ale, ordering the young boy from the kitchen to fix us some parma fare. The George Freeth Memorial Tropical Brown Ale from Moondog was ours! Our first treasure on this long voyage! We marveled at how well balanced it was, like a calm ocean of pineapple, coconut and malt flavours, and it was delicious plain sailing right to the bottom of the tankard. This was truly an ale to live up to the legend. As we gathered up as much as we could fill a glass with, we spotted Karl Moondog himself... another fierce pirate, a pirate who's treasure we had been consuming, right under his nose. We made a mad dash for the Imperial Black Pale, loaded up our treasure and set sail again for Local Taphouse Island.

Local Taphouse Island has been home to many ale swillin' pirates over the years. It's tavern was reknown across many lands as one of the finest taverns a pirate could drink in. Our success so far with the map had meant expectation of another fine haul had risen amongst myself and Pilsner. It would be an easy pillage, and I could almost taste the Cocksockin' Ball Knockin' Imperial Stout, again from Moondog, the map had promised. We approached the bar, cap in hand and gold pieces a-ready and there it was, the second treasure we had come in search of. Ol' Crafty's Golden Ale Chalice.

Long John Pilsner and I danced a merry jig and ordered a flagon of the prized Moondog Imperial Stout. Local Alchemists had infused the stout with chipolte, which left a mighty after-burn, redder than any beard i'd come across. Such complexity of flavour, with the heat bringing out cherry and subtle chocolate undertones. Twas an ale i'd turn my back on any number of tavern wenches for. And so it was, with chalice and our second Moondog in hand, we boarded the Pale and set of into the darkness of the night... with many more treasure to uncover in the course of the week, two pirates shall take some much needed downtime.....

....to be continued....

Hip Hops and Malt Rocks (8 Songs About Beer for GBW)

2011-05-07T17:27:00.006+10:00

With Good Beer Week almost upon us, the lads from Melbourne musical comedy duo, Elbow Skin has released the anthem for GBW, an epic and often beautiful ode to the nectar of the gods. I've caught myself far too often in the last week singing the song to myself and getting this catchy tune stuck in my head like a bad pop song. So, with GBW very quickly approaching, I've decided to throw together a completely unofficial, unsanctioned From Beer To Eternity Good Beer Week soundtrack.

But to kick off proceedings, here's the brilliant effort from local lads Elbow Skin.

Track 1. - Elbow Skin - Beer Song

Filmed on location in some of Melbourne's finest beer houses and breweries, see how many you can recognize.

Track 2. - Reel Big Fish - Beer

9/10 American drinkers recommend listening to Reel Big Fish whilst playing beer pong, so here they are.

Track 3. - Alestorm - Nancy The Tavern Wench

So its a song from a Scottish pirate metal band, with a beery name, singing like a pirate about beer... it ticks every box.

Track 4. - Flogging Molly - Drunken Lullabies

Irish folk and punk rock are by far the easiest genres of music to drink to, here's Flogging Molly killing two drunk birds with one blarney stone.

Track 5. - Hilltop Hoods - What a Great Night.

Slight change in direction now (about 180 degrees of change) with Australian Hip Hop royalty...

Track 6. - Korpiklaani - Happy Little Boozer

Finnish Folk Metal stalwarts, Korpiklaani seem to be a band who enjoy their beer, given that a majority of their songs are about beer, and thus, deserve their place on the soundtrack.

Track 7. - Gogol Bordello - Alcohol

Gypsy punks can beer too.... This song reminds me of every hangover I've ever had.... perfect for Good Beer Week.

Track 8. - Pub With No Beer - Slim Dusty

Love it or hate it... ol' Slim has a point, and no compilation of Beer songs for an Australian Beer week would be complete without him.

Land of Hope and Glory

2011-04-23T20:36:00.012+10:00

Rule Britannia! I’ve always considered myself to be a bit of an Anglophile, indeed if I wasn’t Australian and couldn’t be Jamaican, Scottish, Belgian, Vladimir Putin or some kind of mutant samurai astrophysicist I’m pretty sure I’d pick English as my nationality. Some of my favourite people are English; Churchill, Sir David Attenborough (wow, you really know you’re somebody when spell check doesn’t flag your name), Corporal Jones, that guy who narrates the Antiques Roadshow, just to name but a few.

England is also one of the great brewing nations, the home of some of my favourite brews, not that the brainwashed masses of Australia know it, there is this pervasive myth that the Brits drink warm beer, as if the barman puts it in the microwave before serving. Sadly this means English Ales are often overlooked by many looking to try new beers, indeed I was well into German and Belgian beer long before those of the old country. Now, with today being St George’s day and the fact that my partner hasn’t sobered up enough yet to complete part 2 of “beers to get your girlfriend into beer”, I thought I’d concoct a list of some of my favourite brews from old Blighty that no self respecting lover of beer should miss...

Wells Bombardier:

There is nothing I like dislike about the above picture. The self appointed “Drink of England”, the Irish have Guinness, while the English have the Bombardier, or so the Well’s & Young marketing department would have you believe. I had a laugh the other day as I walked into the Acland St Cellars and saw a lone bottle of Bombardier, obviously misplaced on the shelf by some careless shopper, surrounded by the Wehrmacht’s finest; neatly ordered ranks of Weihenstephans, Paulaners and Shneider Weisses. With the Cross of St George emblazoned proudly on the label it reminded me of the title sequence in Dad’s Army. Stirring stuff. Anyhow I placed a few Sierra Nevada’s, and Stone & Woods alongside to help out. I also placed a Kronenbourg 1664 alongside but it immediately surrendered...Anyway this is a lovely and highly sessionable ale, a good introduction to what the English do best.

King Goblin: Wychwood’s Hobgoblin is a true classic and the beer which first got me into English Ales. While the Hobgoblin is a mischievous little scamp his bigger brother is a wyvern riding, battle axe wielding warlord, come to lay waste to your stupid hobbit village. A stunning coppery red topped by a rising off-white head it would not look out of place being served in some Middle Earth tavern, this is everything that makes the hobgoblin so enjoyable and then some. Also a great way of getting fantasy loving nerds into drinking good beer! It'll make you roll all 6s!!!

Samuel Smith Imperial Stout: A beer of impeccable pedigree, a list of English brews would not be complete without an entrant from the Old Tadcaster Brewery. This is an example of an imperial stout, like IPAs imperial stouts were brewed stronger to survive the rigours of long sea travel, in this case to the Russian courts of Catherine the Great. Despite what the attractive label suggests, this beer is not the same that the decadent members of the Russian Court would have drunk with caviar and peasants tears, but a resurrection of the style, first brewed in the 1986. As far as I’m concerned this is the supreme expression of Stout, everything that is good about this style of beer is present in the complex characteristics of this coal black beer. Have one of these with a fine cigar and some aged cheddar and sing praise.

Adnams Broadside: If you have ever wanted to try Christmas pudding in liquid form then the mighty broadside is for you. The label commemorates the battle of Sole Bay, which the English actually lost against the Dutch in 1672. At 6.3% this is a 72 gun, triple decker of a beer and pours with a tall white head every bit as majestic as the sails of the galleon depicted on the label. This is one of my favourite winter beers, the thought of a Broadside in my handsome Adnams glass keeps me warm as I walk the rain swept streets of a Melbourne winter’s evening. Adnams of Southwold are an excellent brewery with many worthy beers and were recently named 2011 Brewery of the Year by the UK’s good pub guide. In addition to their environmentally friendly brewing complex they also run 70 pubs which all serve cask conditioned ale and a percentage of annual sales go to the Adnams charity which supports the local area, they are essentially the Mother Teresa of UK brewing.

Fullers ESB: The ESB is a dapper sort of chap, the quintessential English gent. The only beer to win CAMRA’s best strong ale award on seven separate occasions and the progenitor of the extra special bitter style. 7 times!!! If you like beer and haven’t tried this yet then get cracking, no one is going to take you seriously until you do. Like the King Goblin, this is another incredibly aesthetically pleasing beer, a clear golden copper in the glass. The smooth, ginger, toffee, marmalade taste is utterly sublime, if I lived in the UK this would be my 6 pack of choice.

Good Beer Week

2011-04-08T00:22:00.000+10:00

Good Beer Week will be upon us from the 16th of May - 22nd of May.

What part of this event title can you not love?

Certainly the “good beer” part of it is exciting, but what about the “week” component? Surely good beer should be a lifestyle rather than just a week! Well you’ve jumped the gun a little bit because it’s not quite like that.

Good Beer Week is a magnificent initiative to promote the enjoyment of wonderful local craft beer in events that are specified to showcase the quality of local breweries and venues.

Venues all over Victoria are opening up during the week to host events ranging from brewery tastings, to offering food matching for beers or themed tastings. The exciting element of these extend beyond the events of the week itself as it will be a chance for the venues to trial events that could ultimately become regular events. See what I mean?

Several of the events will span the entire week (so there are no excuses for you to miss any of them!) whereas the majority of the events are set dates (and ticketed, so if you want to partake you’d better act quickly!).

I’d considered going through a selection of some of the more desirable events to attend, but as I am going through each one they all strike me as something not to be missed so instead I will simply post the link for you and you can check out the full calendar for yourself.

So there you have it. You might find that this turns out to be a really important week for the Australian Craft Brew scene as I think we are crying out for more events such as these, and this week will provide the perfect stage for venues to host these events with the confidence that they will fill the seats, whilst providing them with the feedback that there is the interest in the events to hold them on a regular basis.

To see this occurring more regularly we need to support it while we have the chance.

I’ll see you all there.

Top Beers to get Your Girlfriend Drinking Beer Part 1

2011-04-06T23:54:00.005+10:00

Ten years ago the famed beer critic, Michael Jackson made the observation that women are utterly ignored by the brewing industry and this rings as true today as it did then. For the big brewers the only place women come into the equation is how many can be fit, scantily clad and usually wet, into a commercial aimed solely at the lurid desires of men. Now I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy these sort of ads, usually a lot more than the beers they promote; but doesn’t it strike one as odd that this massive worldwide industry completely denies the existence of the fairer sex as consumer?

Recent articles on Crafty Pint about the very worthy worldwide efforts of the Barley’s Angels to attract more women to beer, and this piece in Beer Bar Band about the recent Women of Brewing dinner in Melbourne have gotten me to thinking. I’m no expert on the world of big business but it makes no sense for an industry to exclude half the population for no good reason other than the vague idea of what is socially acceptable for each gender to drink. This is where, like Hannibal at Trebia, the craft industry can completely outflank the enemy and utterly crush them, slaughtering every third male and selling the women and children into slavery. By the execution of mayors and government officials we shall create a vacuum, then we shall...what? I’m doing it again? Sorry, wrong blog. As I was saying, a massive adoption of beer by the sort of women who would otherwise prefer wine would strengthen the industry to no end.

Now I’ve met several ladies whose knowledge of beer matches that of my own, ask any of the girls at the local Taphouse about their favorites on the tap list and their knowledge will put you to shame. But the truth remains that beer, for the moment, is still seen as a masculine beverage and considering the stuff we’ve had to endure for most of this country’s recent history it is not hard to see why most women with a refined, mature palate prefer wine. But with the rise of craft beer this need no longer be the case, I will stand by my declaration that beer can stand toe to toe with wine in all respects and, to put it in no uncertain terms, fuck you if you disagree.

So, to aid in this I enlisted the help of my fiancé, Sarah as my test subject. Sarah is 24, likes white wine, cider and things with vodka in them. I subjected her to a battery of peer reviewed scientific tests and experiments, which means I ploughed her with gallons of alcohol and recorded the results. Hey, every cause must have its martyr... With this hard won information I have devised a list of several beers that I think would appeal to the tastes of the girl whose only real experience with beer comes from being vomited on by an overzealous suitor at a night club. Our aim as always is to educate, do not preach, simply try to teach and with these weapons in your arsenal even the pickiest of tastes will find something to enjoy and hopefully lead to a wider appreciation of beer in all its varied forms.

Stone & Wood Pacific Ale: Okay, I’m not affiliated with S&W in any way, I do not get paid or receive any form of benefit. I’m just saying, I enjoy what they do. There is a reason why this is the critics’ choice. Good taste is beyond gender, nuff said. This picture sums up my feelings about this beer:

Grand Ridge Natural Blonde: This is a stunning wheat beer from one of my favorite breweries. Crystal clear, this is one of the country’s finest wheat beers, with hints of citrus, coriander and bubblegum. Wheat beer is a good way to show the fair beer maiden that beer isn’t all about bitterness, the softer, more delicate flavors. A session is something best shared so pull out a sixer of these fellas out when you drinking partner happens to fall in the female demographic. As the Grand Ridge website suggests, an ideal companion to an alfresco lunch or a picnic in the sun.

Holgate Chocolate Temptress: I tend to avoid stereotyping but I must say I have noticed that women and chocolate are quite fond of one another. A general lack of understanding of dark beers in this country means that a girl whom dislikes light and crisp lager will flee from a something as dark as the Temptress like a vegan from a Yorkshire pudding wrapped in bacon. Remember though, there is a reason it is named the Temptress; very moreish and warming, it is dark as Guinness but tastes like a rich dessert. This is one to save for the romantic fireside chat...

Lindemans Lambics: Fruity Lambics are about as far from mass produced lager as you can get. Indeed most who bypass these colorful bottles for cartons of VB and Pure Blond wouldn’t even realize they are beer, but beer they are. These are not novelties but the result of a complex form of brewing mastery known as spontaneous fermentation, which from what I can gather here entails some form of bloody sacrifice to the Gaulish god of brewing Sucellus. They come in a range of flavors – Kriek (cherry), Cassis (blackcurrant), Framboise (raspberry) to name but a few. Redoak also makes a Framboise but I haven't yet tried it, judging by their other offerings though its quality is not in doubt. It is difficult to articulate just how awesome these beers are and are well worth trying no matter what your gender. It is beer like this that help further shift the uninitiated’s view of beer as just consisting of bland lagers.

I'll have the second half of the list up as soon as Sarah sobers up... Remember, binge drinking is bad unless it is done in the name of science, then it's all good! Seriously though, this issue with binge drinking is only going to go away with a better education and appreciation for alcohol. And outlaw shots. Shots are the tipping point where a good night goes off the rails and the next thing you know you wake up naked in the bush fighting with dogs. I have lost count how many times this has happened to me. Don't do shots, drink beer!

The Call of Duty

2011-03-27T20:03:00.020+11:00

I firmly believe that if you enjoy good beer then it is your duty to spread the word, especially with Australian craft brewing on the rise, the more people supporting craft brewers here the stronger the industry gets and in the long run the more variety and choice there will be. Imagine a day when every bar you walk into has something interesting on tap, when every restaurant has a selection of beer the equal of its wine list. When every BWS and Liquor Land employs at least one trappist monk and Westvleteren 12 y.o is sold by the carton. The promised land draws ever nearer friends, but it is vital that we swell the ranks of the beery faithful...

Previously I spoke of the epiphany beer, those that fundamentally change our perceptions of what we understand a beer to be. Such moments may be few and far between but they all are part of the foundation of the enlightened beer drinker you have become. Now, no matter what generation you belong to, all of us at some point have enjoyed what would generally be considered to be sub-standard beer. Most of us would have friends and family who probably still are of the opinion that the lager they’ve drunk their entire lives to be the last word in all things malt and hops. Understandably you want to share your enthusiasm for real beer with them, to help them discover that beer can actually have a quality known as flavour. The thing is, building an appreciation of the sheer variety beer has to offer can take a long while and people generally dislike having their perceptions radically challenged, especially when what they are already drinking works for them and face it, costs a lot less. You can lead a horse to water, etc, etc.

Also, bear in mind that not everyone is really suited to this. Some minds are too small to change, their secure little worlds are just right in their minds. These are the sort of people for whom Today Tonight is serious social commentary, people whom buy a weekly carton of [insert shitty mass produced brand here] and wouldn’t consider drinking beer from another state and give you grief if you turn up with something that sounds vaguely foreign. For them beer is solely for refreshment and getting pissed. Likewise steer clear of the pretentious tosser who drinks Stella Artois because it’s European and wants everyone to think he has money and sophistication. This calibre of person should be well used to ignorance and you need not concern yourself with them.

What you’re after is the mate who is happy to try new things, to have his perceptions shifted a little. Maybe he’s always enjoyed Coopers or occasionally buys a 6 pack of James Squire, that’s always a good sign. Maybe he (or she, I’m just a chauvinist, although if she’s past her early 20s and still drinks Cruisers don’t bother) doesn’t even drink beer, all they need to have is an open mind and a capacity to appreciate and enjoy the finer things in life. A note of warning though, the worst thing you can do is get some lager loving real ale virgin and thrust some hop armageddon like Murray’s Icon 2ipa or an inscrutable Belgian style dubbel in their face and expect them to have a good time and come back for more. Doesn’t work that way and you shouldn’t try to build a house before you’ve had experience building a shed. With this in mind I’ve devised a short list of 5 beers I feel are all worthy enough to maybe trigger an epiphany in the mind of the drinker. They may not be the most complex brews out there but I feel they are all good introductions to their respective styles...

Stone & Wood Pacific Ale: Insanely drinkable and possessing a superlative flavour, I’m yet to meet anyone whom dislikes this beer. If the Pacific Ale were a woman it would be a bikini clad Elle Macpherson. My girlfriend tells me if it were a man it would be Heath Ledger in boardies. I’ve introduced a number of friends to S&W and this has become their 6 pack of choice. Available in a growing number of bottle shops and bars across the country I feel this is a good place as any to start. If the budding beer padawan dislikes this there may not be much hope in continuing...

Sierra Nevada Pale Ale: When I first started getting into beer I had no idea what a “craft” brewer was and my only impression of American beer was from a carton of Budweiser the hotel I worked at never managed to sell. Imagine my shock when I started looking up Best Beer lists on the internet and found that so many included US beers. From what I understand Sierra Nevada helped begin the craft brewing revolution in the US the way Matilda Bay helped kick start it here and this is the beer that did it for them. Aromatic and incredibly well balanced this is an excellent introduction to this popular style. If we want to keep it strictly Australian then the ubiquitous Little Creatures is easier to get a hold of and gentler on the wallet. Also going to be much fresher, I loved this beer back in the day, many better examples of the APA but LC is a good place to start.

Hoegaarden: It’s definitely not craft beer in any sense of the word but you know what? I drink many witbiers but I still come back for Hoegaarden as it is very sessionable and covers all the basics that a witbier should. Shortly after my experience with the Forbidden Fruit I was with a mate at a bar in Hobart in the early afternoon and saw that they had Hoegaarden on tap. Thinking it was F.F we ordered a couple and to this day I remember the look of astonishment we gave each other after the first sip “Holy shiz, it tastes like bubblegum!” Before then I didn’t even know you could make beer with wheat. Obviously there are many finer wheat beers out there, but this was my introduction and as far as I’m concerned it ticks all the right boxes. Good Australian wheat beer which aren’t too challenging include the Grand Ridge Blonde and Murray’s Whale Ale, both eminently drinkable.

Samuel Smith’s Famous Taddy Porter: I think of this beer like Muhammad Ali, its label talks big but it has the guns to back it up. But first, I must digress, how many times have you heard people when offered something slightly darker than lager say “sorry mate, I don’t drink dark beer”? For the majority of my generation, our only real experience with a darker ale is Guinness and have based their opinions of all dark ales on this one, very dry example. As such, Gen Y, and I’m guessing Gen X before it have always considered stouts and porters to be an old man’s drink, simply not sexy enough. I don’t need to state that this misconception is an injustice of the gravest sort and needs immediate correcting. The Taddy Porter should be considered one of the primary weapons in our arsenal in achieving this. The deep ruby hue, the sweet caramel tobacco aroma and that silky mouthfeel all combine and will bring the neophyte’s preconceptions of dark ales crashing down like George Foreman in Zaire. From the ruins a new appreciation of stouts and porters shall arise and lead on to better things, like shilling cookware. Again if you want to keep it Australian then you could always blow their minds with Holgate’s Chocolate Temptress.

Mountain Goat Hightail Ale:

This is a perennial favorite of many across Melbourne and I feel is an excellent introductory beer. This darker, copper colored Ale is highly sessionable and will get the new drinker over the preconception that easy drinking beers need to be light hued and clear (I remember once nearly sending back a Coopers Pale because I thought the sediment in the bottle meant it was off. Ignorance is by no means bliss). Toffee sweetness on the palate make this a very appealing brew and it is easily found in bottle shops across most of the country.

Feral Tap Takeover

2011-03-19T19:45:00.005+11:00

The tap list for the Local Taphouse Feral Takeover is out! Actually its been out for some time but here it is in it's presumably final form. Cast your eyes over this virtual Pantheon of beers from a true juggernaut of the craft brewing scene. Go on, I'll wait...

1. Feral White (Belgian Witbier, 4.6%)
2. Hop Hog (US IPA, 5.8%)
3. Golden Ace (5.5%)
4. Bohemian Pilsener (5%)
5. Smoked Porter (4.5%)
6. Rust (Belgian abbey ale, 6%)
7. Farmhouse Ale (Saison, 4.3%)
8. The Runt (American Pale Ale, 4.6%)
9. Funky Junky (Wild Ale, 4.3%)
10. Razorback (Barleywine, 9.8%)
11. Karma Citra (5.9%)
12. Boris (Russian Imperial Stout, 10.2%)
13. BFH (oak fermented IPA, 5.8%)
14. Fantapants (Double Red Ale, 7.4%)
15. 983 (Pale Ale with Sorachi hops, 4.5%)
16. IWit2.0 (Imperial Belgian Witbier, 7.5%)
17. Nice Guy Dud Root Brown Ale (4.9%)
18. Sail & Anchor IPA (British IPA, 5.2%)
19. Brass Monkey Stout (Oatmeal Stout, 5%)
20. Jose the Gose (Gose)

By Toutatis that is an impressive line up! I honestly don't know where I'm going to start, although I know where I'm going to end, asleep in the St Kilda Botanical Gardens. Pretty much situation normal after one of these Taphouse events.

I'm really keen to get go round 2 with the Karma Citra, and as a wheat beer lover the IWit2.0 is a must. BFH, the new brown Ale and Jose I don't even know what a Gose is!!! Dammit, May the 3rd seems so distant, I guess I'll just have to make do with jugs of Hop Hog at the Great Northern. Keep your calendars clear...

The Victorian Microbrewery Showcase

2011-03-18T00:31:00.003+11:00

One of the events that causes a great deal of anticipation is the microbrewery showcase at Federation Square.

As I patiently sat at the entrance waiting for 4.30 (which became 4.40) I people watched my way to the realization that this event now attracts the complete gamut of punters.

Old men with incredibly bushy eyebrows, suits wearing sunglasses where it is much too dark to wear sunglasses, girls in summer dresses that I’m scared to approach as they are too beautiful, hipsters with asymmetrical haircuts and tight jeans, girls that I am scared to approach as I believe they might bite me.

Everyone from all walks of life came down to Fed Square to sample a great selection of beers from some of the biggest, some of the smallest, and some of the newest microbreweries in Victoria.

Cavalier Brewery were the new kids on the block and their initial three beers are very promising. The pale ale is a lovely aroma and very pleasant taste and will likely become refined and a soild staple beer.

The brown ale and hefeweizen were also a very high standard and I’m excitedly awaiting some more from these lads.

The Local Taphouse in St.Kilda was represented on the day with the announcement that they will be opening their retail outlet in the next seven weeks, which is exciting.

But what’s that? You want more? Well here’s something. They will also be providing two litre growlers of the ever rotating draught beer they hold.

Still not enough? Well I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but fine.

If you call 1300 GROWLER they have decided they will DELIVER THE GROWLERS FOR FREE WITHIN A 4KM RADIUS.

Sorry, let me compose myself.

The beer highlight for myself was undoubtedly the collaboration from Thornbridge Brewery and Mountain Goat. The Thorny Goat Black IPA.

Wow. A fantastic style of beer that is largely unchartered in Australian beer. Big shoes have been manufactured with this collaboration and the gauntlets have been thrown down to Australian breweries to fill. I’m really looking forward to this style growing. More about this particular beer can be found here.

The Crafty One was spotted nabbing a few interviews here and there so we can look forward to the next installment of Crafty Pint Films.

Some of the entrants to the Great SpecTAPular were around again, some to finish the last of the supply, some to suggest they may be around as seasonal releases again. One of these beers that saw the light of day from the GABS was the Otways Blueberry Hefeweizen which was tasting mighty good I might add.

Speaking with Luke from Otway Estate about seasonal releases he happened to casually mention that he expects the brewery will release 24-36 seasonal brews this year.

Commence your mental and physical salivation.

Another excellent addition to this edition of this showcase was Beer Deluxe’s willingness to turn part of their outside bar into the cider garden, allowing the showcasing of some wonderful Victorian ciders among the educated and willing crowd.

A special mention goes out to the Grand Ridge Brewery for having samples of just about every beer they currently have available (including seasonals) which really is the true meaning of “showcase” to let punters get a complete idea about what they offer.

You’ve heard enough from me. If you were there on the Wednesday or Thursday then you already know what I’m talking about. If you didn’t make it then you need to ensure that you don’t miss the next one that comes around.

Always a cracking, ever evolving event that is a must for any beer lover.

The Epiphany Beer

2011-03-17T00:41:00.002+11:00

The Bible has a story about a man named Saul who was a bit of a prick for most of his life until one day, on the road to Damascus he was struck down by a pillar of light and was violently raped by the word of the Lord. Now if my memory of the Catholic Brothers school system serves me right the main gist of the story was that Saul had been blind all his life and in a moment of pure, divine clarity he understood the truth. There was something in there about goats too I think, I forget, but anyhow, this is not a religious blog, no! This is blog about beer, a religion of a different kind, and I friends, I am here to spread the good news...

The reason I bring this up is that I had a very similar experience a few years ago in the early 2000s (noughties? The o’s? Has anyone figured out what to call that decade yet? I’m settling for The Nilch) I had drunk what my dad had drunk for most my late teenage/young adult life which was usually Cascades/Boags draught and the occasional Heineken. At BBQs I’d bring a 6 pack of Cascade Pale Ale and I went through an awkward stage where I swore by Toohey’s Extra Shi, sorry, Dry. It was a dark time... Then, one day whilst in an Italian Restaurant in Northern Sydney with my family and faced with a beer list full of umlauts and words ending in e, I passed on the usual Peroni and picked a beer which would forever alter my perception of what the word actually meant...

Hoegaarden Forbidden Fruit, I chose this on the basis that the label had a naked chick on the front and the word Hoe in the name (hey, I was 22). The waiter cracked the lid and the rest is a little blurry for me. My Mum says I appeared dazed and confused, like a small puppy high on acid that had been dumped in the middle of a hardcore side-trance rave. My Dad says I spontaneously began to speak in tounges. All I remember is that sublime, almost spicy taste. This magical elixir was as far removed from the Lager I’d taken for beer all my life that it may of well come from an alternate dimension. I still have the bottle which I treat with all the reverence of a religious relic.

This was an example of what is known as the epiphany beer. Similar to the pursuit of Zen Buddhism, it is a single, perfect moment of clarity and understanding which reveals how little you really know. I didn’t transform into an enlightened being overnight, I’d still take six packs of lager to parties for a few years yet, but the point is it was this from this moment that I was open to trying different beers and styles. I’d have other beers over the years that I’d consider epiphany moments, the first time I had Little Creatures P.A , the night with the Innis & Gunn, my mate Stringer’s grandad’s homebrew (I think I saw the devil) all of these moments have lead me to who I am now; someone whom spends a ludicrous portion of his pay on craft and imported beers, people tell me I have a problem, I shoot them a look halfway between pity and contempt sprinkled with a tiny dash of the crazed fanatic and proudly declare that it is a problem I’m happy to have.

So take the time to remember your own pantheon of epiphany beers. They may no longer be your favourites, your tastes and preferences having evolved since, but it is well worth remembering where it all began. Remember, a journey of a thousand beers begins with a single sip.

Top 8 "um... what? Beers.

2011-02-27T22:20:00.019+11:00

At about 1:30am on January 1st 2011, as I sat in a living room with the remainder of the beers that had been part of an exquisite New Years line-up, (including the aforementioned Dark Island Reserve), unaware of the proverbial Pandora's Box that sat inconspicuously on the table in front of me. Earlier in the day, as Dave and myself had spent the early hours of the evening on a bottle shop crawl, we had just called stumps on the day's purchasing when the brew in question called out to us, serenading us like a siren at sea. Dave and I both examined the bottle; Southern Tier Imperial Creme Brulee Stout... I recognized each of the individual words on the label but somehow when combined in this order in front of me, I was confounded... The language might has well have been some ancient scrawled text, transcribed from a leather-bound Necronomicon by arthritic church-tower bell-ringers.

"If its 20 bucks or under I'll grab it." I muttered at the time, unaware of the spell that was to be cast. The shop keeper brought it up on the till. $20. I looked at Dave as a feeling of unease came over me... That was too easy... way too easy... Fast forward to 1:30 am. Three gentlemen sit in an Elwood apartment, a stones throw from the beach. Three fresh glasses sit on the table, I open Pandora's Box. It pours like velvet, (well... if.... if velvet had liquid properties... like a fine, furry cream... no, lets just stick with velvet...) the colour is a rich toffee brown... like a forgotten chocolate éclair that has been melt on the dashboard of a car in the sun. I grasped the glass firmly in my hand, looking down into the creamy elixir and I can almost feel the devil's eyes staring back at me, once again, the Siren's song is strong, willing me to take a sip, seducing me to taste its fiery passion. (I... think I may have just invented Beerotic Fiction... sweet)

What I tasted in the wee small hours of that morning will probably stay with me for life. This was not a beer, this was a wild landscape of flavour on a level of surreal absurdity that would have given Salvador Dali an inferiority complex. It was creme brulee, liquefied and bottled, labelled and distributed and then cleverly hidden amongst beers to disguise it. It was the David Bowie of the beer world, with an approach so flamboyant and outlandish it confuses the older generations with its ambiguity.

So, after a rather long, drawn out introduction... I bring you the Top 8 "um... what?" Beers, a collection of maverick beers with outlandish flavours that will leave you staring into your glass saying "um.... what?". A collection of beers so absurd and ambiguous yet so genius in their intent, that I was originally going to call it the Ziggy Beerdust collection, but thought it may have been lost on a few people.

8. Kinshachi Nagoya Red Miso Lager

We commence the countdown with a confounding and complex combination of not only words, but flavours. The first thing that should naturally jump out is that there is a lager that has a flavour attached to it, completely going against the "tastes like licking sanitized walls" thing that lagers so proudly have "going on. The second thing that should be noted is that this is a flavour that doesn't promise a pleasant beer blend. I mean, chocolate stouts, coffee porters, raspberry wits... these all sound appealing, if not appropriate... but Miso Lager? Having said all that, I was actually fortunate enough to come across this one in a Japanese restaurant in Melbourne, and was actually quite taken back by the delicate flavour and blending with the overall body of the beer. Kind of like spilling miso soup into Fosters, but in a pleasant "actually that's not bad" way.

7. Cave Creek Chilli Beer

Ok, so the whole chilli beer thing is not overly new, outlandish or flamboyant, but... look at the photo. Each bottle has an individual whole chilli inside. This is chilli beer actually doing what it says on the label. Its been likened to drinking a bottle of carbonated Tabasco Sauce, such is the fiery heat of the beer. I can't imagine anything more confusing, to be honest, I mean, nothing soothes the mouth after, say, a Vindaloo or a Chilli con Carne quite like a cool refreshing lager, so imagine the drunken juxtaposition of trying to battle the heat of an Indian meal with one of these? It'll be a double pronged attack. You won't know where to turn. Only wasabi in the eyes could make the situation worse.... speaking of which....

6. Miyamori Wasabi Ale

I mean... ok. I can imagine this would have some sort of amazing novelty value, kind of like those bottles of beer than when they were cold enough the lady on the label's underwear would go see-through, much to the delight of 15-85 year old men everywhere. I just can't imagine a situation where I would want to drink this for leisure purposes. Maybe it'd be useful if... I don't know, work with me here... you're out of wasabi peas, but you've just realized that you have a packet of stale dried up peas that fell down the back of your freezer, and you'll serve this beer with the stale peas and hope no-one notices the difference... but... in... logical thought, a lot of serious planning would go into this happy contingency plan, deeming it unlikely, if not impractical. Speaking of Japan, impractical and novelty... its....

5. Bilk

Ok, I apologize, this should have probably come with a "Do Not Attempt to Comprehend After Eating" warning... This "beverage" can only be described as the unholy matrimony of star-crossed lovers, beer and milk, if the portmanteau hadn't already given that away. Blended with 30% milk, I can only fathom that this beer has been released to help Japanese men overcome that terrible affliction known as No-Man-Boobitis. Initial reports from the brewer suggested that they would scope out the local market before looking to promote this beer overseas. That was nearly two years ago, and very little has been heard of since. Rumour has it that it is being looked after by top men... top men.....

Last known whereabouts of Bilk

4. Kidsbeer - Tomomasu

D'you know what there's not enough of in the world? There's not enough products that encourage the pre-teen demographic to binge drink, and at the risk of seeming like I'm serving up an Enola Gay-like hammering its Japan again. I can't think of anything better than coming home after a hard day's slog as an astronaut superhero on the climbing-frame at primary school, knocking the top off a frosty cold, refreshing Kidsbeer and sitting down to watch an evening of programming on ABC3.

Brewed by Tomomasu, this soft drink/beer hybrid is a lager-coloured, foaming cola beverage and is promoted as the responsible alternative to beer for the younger generation, replacing alcohol with guarana.... oh, well... I guess that IS responsible then, because for a moment there.... wait WHAT? Another key note, is the drink's slogan. "Even Kids Cannot Stand Life Unless They Have a Drink". Pretty brave for a nation with one of the world's highest suicide rates... Bravo Tomomasu.

3. Shenandoah Brewery's Chocolate Donut Stout

I have to admit, when I saw this, my initial reaction was to rant aimlessly at the ever-expanding, collective girth of the average cheeseburger guzzling, up-size demanding, eating contest entering, bacon-in-a-can purchasing, prescription pants-wearing citizens of the United States of thisiswhyyourefat.com. But then I kinda got thirsty, and fancied quenching my thirst with a chocolate donut. Part of me really wants to experience this beer. Reading reviews on BeerAdvocate.com, it seems to have quite a strong following and when I eventually get down to the logistics of this beer, its a chocolate stout, with raspberry undertones. It actually sounds positively delightful. But the initial image of a Homer Simpson-like slob killing two birds with one stone will probably be the one that stays with me. Much like this one... its...

2. Tom Seefurth’s Mamma Mia Pizza Beer

Ok, I thought that this had some real potential, brewing a flavoured ale with hints of oregano, basil, olive and tomato. Why not, I mean, coriander seems to be entering the brewer psyche recently, and pumpkin ale had its moment in the sun, although that moment went all "pumpkin-two-weeks-after-halloween" pretty quickly. However.... this is pretty much a beer brewed with that flavouring powder you get on pizza shapes, leading it to be referred to as the Bacon Bits of the Beer world. Don't get me wrong, I freakin' love pizza shapes, but... I don't know, its kinda like opening a packet of mi goreng noodles, throwing the white curly stuff away and throwing the rest into a fermenter... Actually.... might have to give that a go... Something I will definitely not be giving a go though is this....

1. Hondenbier Kwispelbier

Oh how I wish I was making this up... It's a steak flavoured beer for dogs. No clever writing necessary, the Dutch have beaten me to it, with their comedic poetry in brewing. At zero percent alcohol, this literally beefy ale is one to crack open when you want to share a beer with man's best friend. The problem is, after 3 or four Kwispelbiers, (not something easily ordered whilst intoxicated, but unlikely any bar would serve anyway) man's best friend starts eyeing off anything around the room that remotely looks like another dog, and before you know it, ol' rover is pulling the moves on that teddy bear you won on that duck shoot game at the local fete. He's in for a rude shock in the morning.

What's in a name?

2011-02-23T20:59:00.003+11:00

Dost a name maketh the beer? Or is the idea of naming a beer an arbitrary decision that shouldn’t take up important time that could be better spent drinking the very beer that is being named?

My firm belief is that the name should be the lowest on the list of priorities when crafting a beer but I can’t help the feeling of fun and satisfaction when you come across a name of a beer that is just perfect.

Let’s have a look at a couple of my favourites.

Bridge Road B2 Bomber

It’s big. It’s bold. It’s well equipped for any aerial assault in a combat situation.

It kind of even looks like a stealth bomber. Almost blue-black, has a steely glow, is undetectable by radar and quietly sneaks up on you when you least suspect it.

I remember fondly of a night at Biero when I first had the B2 Bomber and before long it had swept across the clearings of the venue and opened fire on my platoon.

Casualites. Even collateral damage.

Enjoyably consumed. Enjoyably named.

Murray’s Spartacus

Right. The Spartacus.

Is this the most aptly named beer that we’ve seen? I’m saying that it is. It’s big. Big in the most empirically Roman way you could possibly imagine. Constructed to stand the test of time and be remembered as a symbol of greatness. Think Colosseum. That’s what I mean.

The perfectly apt name has been paired with a equally applicable tag line now that it has been bottled. “It Kicks Arse.” It certainly does.

I could write all the words in the world but none will capture The Spartacus like that does.

It kicks arse.

2 Brothers James Brown

It’s tough to discuss this beer without breaking into a shameless, possibly offensive impression of James Brown (the musical artist, obviously).

I don’t know if I’ve heard any review, description, shout out, passing comment or eavesdropped conversation about this beer that didn’t include the word “funky”.

This will be no exception.

Funk is a hard thing to capture in the form of taste. In this case pure funk is bottled, labeled and distributed to participating bottleshops. Banana and chocolate is rampant over a beautiful Belgian ale.

Get up, get on up.

Hargreaves Hill Phoenix

A big, brash, red bird rising from the ashes in the intense heat of the leaping flames, but all the while gaining strength through the ascension to the heavens.

What? You think this is a ridiculous description of a beer?

Clearly you’ve never had the Phoenix.

It’s the biggest, smokiest, strongest red ale that you could lay your eyes on. Even swirling the head around gives it an ash-like look. Drinking the ale through this head gives the visual representation of the red bird rising from the ashes!

Literal.

I don’t know what more you want from a beer name.

Murray’s Imperious

im·pe·ri·ous/imˈpi(ə)rēəs/

Adjective: Assuming authority without justification; arrogant; domineering.

Another entry from Murray’s? I know what you’re thinking. Come on Dave, show some imagination and talk about a different brewery. Well if you just relax and read on then you might agree with me. Geez.

Let’s go back to the dictionary meaning. Assuming authority without justification.

Perfect name for this big ale.

The Murray’s Imperious burst on to the scene of the Great Australian Beer SpecTAPular without much notice, but it quickly established itself as the big man on campus weighing in at 11% as the heaviest beer of the day and it was an instant favourite of mine.

The Murray’s folk seem to have the knack for a good name.

There is a sample of some names I've particularly liked in the past.

If there are any that I have left out that need a mention then please remind me. It's late, you can't expect me to remember all the great names.

End.

The Great SpecTAPular 2011 Aftermath

2011-02-13T16:40:00.002+11:00

Well well well.

So concludes another installment of The Local Taphouse's Great SpecTAPular, and what a wonderful day it was.

For the folks upstairs Mother Nature provided some very pleasant weather for enjoying the craftiest of the craft beers, and the most micro of the microbrewed beers on a sunny rooftop garden that Australia has to offer.

For the folks downstairs, well it was still good but it doesn't include the features of the aforementioned beer garden. Mainly because the downstairs bar hasn't got a beer garden. Forget it.

It was a great way to enjoy some classy brews.

The downstairs bar had more Aussie than... something like... never mind, but it had a great deal of Aussie.

Most of the hundreds that attended had the interest and level of appreciation to grab a paddle and sample at least the majority of the beers that was on offer.

After I had finished the 19 samples on offer I did have a certain level of satisfaction, but also I was amazed by the overall quality of every entry.

There were some styles that were entered by the breweries that I don't particularly show an interest in (namely the wits and lagers) that I thought were very good. The Otway Organic Blueberry Hefeweizen was a particular joy that I wasn't expecting due to my staunch prejudices.

The Kooinda Raspberry Wit was another pleasant experience for a style I wasn't overly excited by.

Enough opinion for now, there will be a little bit more of that later on.

In attendance were a lot of the head brewers (as expected) from the breweries that submitted entries to this wonderful event and due to the educated crowd these figures were recognized and had praise heaped upon them for their wonderful work.

This created something of a "rock star" element to the event that was unexpectedly exciting, but it was nice to see that interaction with the punters.

Also noticeably present was The Crafty Pint who was travelling with a camera man and conducting filmed interviews with some of the brewers when he could find the requisite space in the excessively busy top floor of the Taphouse. This suggests a new feature that might be added to The Crafty Pint website, and what a wonderful new addition this would be.

Winners of the night, in the humblest of my opinion, were the 4 Pines Wee Heavy strong scotch ale and Murray's Imperious Belgian blonde ale which were both just fantastic. Oh, so good.

I've just lost my train of thought when I think back to how good those two beers were.

It will be interesting to see which if these get picked up as seasonal releases for the breweries so we can enjoy them continuously. One that I wouldn't mind being turned into a seasonal is Fanny Gertrude's Anzac Bickie Beer from the Burleigh Brewing Co. Initially, when I found out that this was on the list for the event I thought it might be a little bit of a novelty, but upon tasting it I realized that it was a genuinely lovely tasting beer. The Anzac biscuit flavour was clearly there but it's a smooth, clean ale that is strangely sessionable.

Okay, you people aren't interested in hearing more of my boring opinions and beer evaluations, so this me signing off.

I believe we'll hear more about The Great SpecTAPular from Rian shortly.

*waits expectantly*

8 Beers to Make Any Drinker's Bucket List

2011-02-10T15:23:00.028+11:00

I'm not dying, nor have I ever been, to the best of my knowledge and at the ripe old age of 27 I'd hope not to for some time yet. But in recent months, as the diverse world of beer consumes me at a greater rate than I could consume it, I found myself starting to compile a list of beers that, given an unlimited budget, I hope to consume before I die. Sadly, and perhaps rather ironically, after much addition and consideration, any actually attempt to consume all beers on the list in any reasonably terminal period would probably result in death anyway, as well as death to anyone else who was out on the road between my house and a suitable kebab shop at the time.

So here is a somewhat shortened version of my beer-bucket list, both as a personal note and a recommendation to anyone who has started writing their own but couldn't get past Carlton Black when trying to think exotic... It should also probably be mentioned that this isn't so much about taste... I've actually only tried two beers on this list, both were pretty amazing as it happens, but this is more about trying something interesting, bizarre and once in a lifetime. So to get proceedings under ways, he's a friend of mine, he's a friend of yours, IT'S.......

8. Brewdog's Tactical Nuclear Penguin ($130 - 160)

The Brewdog brewery was always going to feature heavily in any list that involved beers being drunk before you die, but more often as the cause of death. Tactical Nuclear Penguin, at a hostile 32% alcohol, is a beer that demands respect in the same way a dictator would with clinical brutality and the military. Probably also quite likely to end up silhouetted on a t-shirt wearing a beret, worn by hip young idiots in a display of ignorant irony.

I once had a gentleman liquor dispenser (bottle shop dude) describe it to me as being similar to crushing up a block of sketching charcoal, soaking it over night in a cup of methylated spirits before waking up bright and early to take it all in through the nostril. But he described it with such glowing adoration, like that of a old lady remembering her first romance, that it made me lament the fact I had never in my life woken up to a nose full of charcoalated spirits. Given the relatively widespread availability of this one, it should be quite a realistic target, cost aside.

7. Samuel Adams' Utopias Beer ($500-550)

Non-carbonated and rolling at an unrelenting 24% alcohol, this one-off special brew by one of the United States' widely distributed craft breweries is more of a grainy, vanilla tasting liqueur than a beer. But the reason that this beer makes the bucket list is its copper-finished, brew kettle decanter which is meant to replicate the old brew kettles that have been utilized by brewmasters for centuries.

What would be the point of drinking a beer just for the bottle if its on your bucket list and you won't get long to enjoy it? Well I can think of far worse containers for my ashes to be kept in. But with only 8000 of these ever produced back in 1999, and initially retailing at $100USD, you're already paying collectors prices, five times that of the original.

6. Orkney Brewery Dark Island Reserve. ($45-50)

For me, 2011 started in the perfect fashion. I'd spent the final moments of 2010 drinking an amazing selection of ales with two of the finest gents a man could drink beer with. It had been over 10 months since I had first laid eyes on this Aphrodite of beers and had made a deal with myself, loudly in the shop, that one day, I would make this beer mine. We sat on the hill by Elwood Beach as the new year began and we drank this amazing oak aged dark ale, watching the city explode with fireworks. In a moment of clarity possibly as a result of being caught up with emotions, I declared this beer to be the finest made in history, as I heaped praise upon its brewers and their ancestors.

Dave described this beer to me in his epic three-part review (via paperback) as; "complex to taste, yet an alcoholic behemoth. It looks like a dream to pour, and smells like all your favourite memories liquefied." He also used the word savoury on more occasions that acceptable outside of being behind the counter at a deli, yet this beer is exactly that. Its also the kind of beer you'd imagine sharing with your old man after returning from a long voyage of exploration across raging seas. Not sure why entirely... I also felt thankful for having a beard.

5. BrewDog's Sink the Bismark ($180-200)

Guess who's back, back again, BrewDog's back, tell a friend (at the responsible drinking board of UK)

You know, when trying to explain my passion for craft brewing to people outside of the know, I desperately try to portray the world of brewing as a sophisticated art form produced by some of the greatest visionaries of our time, but for some reason, when I picture the brewdog boys doing their thing, I always seem to conjure up two men in a trashed flat, smashing plates over each others heads and taking it in turns to scream "YOU NUTTER" at each other like some sort of glitch in that Naughty Bear game on X-Box.

When Tactical Nuclear Penguin was first released it set a record for the strongest distributed beer, The record was short-lived however with German brewer, Schorschbrau, recently reclaiming the mantle releasing the 40% strength Schorschbock. Not to be outdone, on alcohol content or tongue-in-cheek European domination, Brewdog were quick to knock out this 41% IPA, and a cheeky name, to boot. After which they presumably went back to their plate-smashing, nutter-calling game.

4. Dogfish Head's Midas Touch Golden Elixir ($20-25)

Ok, this is the cheapest and most widely available beer on this Bucket List, but it has a fairly intriguing back story. This recipe is the actual oldest-known fermented beverage in the world! It is an ancient Turkish recipe using the original ingredients from the 2700 year old drinking vessels discovered in the tomb of King Midas. Somewhere between wine & mead (coming in at a pleasant 9% alcohol) it is said to be a particularly dry ale that will please Chardonnay and beer drinkers alike.

I really like the idea that science and archaeology are finally teaming up to bring us something that we can enjoy (apologies to Time Team, Tony, Mick and Phil will always have a place in my heart). Now if only we could use the same technology to work out what sort of pizza ol' Midas would have after a couple of brews, we could open up a series of franchise gastro-pubs, giving us the ability to one day afford all the beers in my bucket list and live forever happy.

Until that day, I'm stuck with Domino's and Boddingtons.

3. Antarctic Nail Ale ($800-1200)

It has become glaringly obvious to me of late that I'm never going to get to feel the comfort of a leather jacket made with the hide of a white rhino, or mosey around the trendier parts of Melbourne showing off my yeti-skinned leggings and live poodle moccasins, but the Nail Brewing Company has finally given me another outlet to consume mother nature in ways she never intended and would be horrified if she ever found out.

Introducing the Antarctic Nail Ale, made by chiselling ice from caps in Antarctica, melting down to the purest water possible and making quality beer from it. Only a handful of bottles were made, many of which were donated to raise money for whales. Rumour has it that they were gonna call it Nailed Whale Ale, but had to pull the name after demand in Japan sky-rocketed. Marketing thought this would send the wrong sort of message.

2. Tutankhamun's Ale ($50-60)

Same concept as the Midas Touch, except exchanging Egypt instead of Turkey and Tutankhamun instead of Midas. Why is this one higher in the list? Its got its own m*therf*cking sarcophagus. I'm actually willing to concede here for a moment that the beer could taste like Tooheys New blended with Hahn Ice, and I'd still think it was pretty awesome, but given this is brewed in a Cambridge Laboratory from a recipe found in a temple which housed a brewery believed to have been built by King Akenhaten, Tut’s predecessor and likely father, makes the likelihood of this brew being anything similar to the aforementioned pigswill highly unlikely. Also, how insignificant would you feel if you were an ordinary beer at a bottle shop next to this Adonis of liquid container-age... It'd be like nipping to the bathroom and finding yourself at the urinal during the interval of the Men With Large Member's Convention 2011.... motherf*cking sarcophagus...

Though limited, it is said to be available with not a great deal of hunting... No sightings in Melbourne yet.

and finally... if it was ever in doubt.

1. BrewDog's The End Of History ($750-800)

This is proof that brewing is art. Anarchic and nihilistic whilst remaining beautiful, even in death. Possibly the worlds first Apocalypse themed beer, only 12 were made, with each bottle having a squirrel or vole taxidermied around it, presumably for the "LOL's," and containing a beer of 51% alcohol, stronger than the majority of spirits on the market.

Some have suggested the idea of having taxidermied animals wrapped around beers is severe overkill, barbaric and typical of humanities desire to destroy all that stands around like some sort of planet-sweeping virus, but these are the sort of people who live in tents attached to Kombi vans.

I personally think its adorable, and if I ever spawn offspring that upon their ultimate demise, get taxidermied around a brewdog creation, I'll be the proudest father you'll ever see. I mean look at them, they're wearing top hats... they think they're people! People with bottles in them... obviously, but... nawww...

To think that this is the final word in the extreme beers chapter from BrewDog seems a little sad, like they may have peaked too soon, gone out too hard too early. Although, they've not really left a great deal of elbow room for muscling any more craziness into a beer. And what could top this? I'm hoping that BrewDog has a White Album up it's sleeve after this Sgt Peppers of a beer.

To be honest, I can't fathom the idea of what a 51% beer would be like, nor would I want to, it'd be like trying to guess what being hit by a train is like, moments before impact. Best to just sit back and embrace the surprise (and the bodily trauma).

The Great SpecTAPular 2011

2011-02-05T17:44:00.002+11:00

So coming up in mid February is The Local Taphouse Great SpecTAPular for 2011 and having seen the line up it certainly does cause a great deal of excitement and anticipation.

Without further ado, here is the lineup.

Original Fassbier – Kellerbier matured on roasted oak chips (Last Drop, WA, 4.6%)
* Cucumber Sandwich – Summer Ale (Mountain Goat, VIC, 4.2%)
* Kriek Berliner Weisse served through morello cherries (Wig & Pen, ACT, 4.3%)
* Organic Blueberry Hefeweizen (Otway Estate, VIC, 5%)
* Belgian Raspberry Wit (Kooinda, VIC, 5.5%)
* Anzac Bickies – Oats, coconut and vanilla ale (Burleigh Brewing, QLD, 5%)
* Red Relief (Stone & Wood, NSW, 4.7%)
* Cherry Bomb – Cherry and coconut porter (True South, VIC, 5%)
* Quince Ale (Lobethal and Brew Boys Collaboration, SA, 5.6%)
* Zephyr – Double White Ale (Doctors Orders Brewing, NSW, 5.6%)
* Chocolate Chilli Porter (Hunter, NSW, 5.8%)
* 2 Hills Maibock (Collaboration between Hargreaves Hill and Red Hill Breweries, VIC, 6.8%)
* Wee Heavy (4 Pines, 7.8%)
* Rye IPA (Mash, WA)
* Karma Citra – Black IPA showcasing the Citra hop (Feral, WA, 5.9%)
* Lemon Myrtle IPA (Jamieson, VIC, 7%)
* The Secret Romance of Herman van Rompuy and Cherry Poppens – Belgian style Flanders red (Moondog, VIC, 7.3%)
* The Empress – Imperial Mocha Porter (Holgate, VIC, 10%)
* Big Red Rocket – Imperial Red Ale (Bridge Road, VIC, 9%)
* Imperious – Imperial Belgian Blond Ale (Murrays, NSW, 11%)

Salivating? Yes, I am as well.

The only news to slightly bring this down is the news that Moon Dog have withdrawn their entry from the event as when they sampled the finished product they didn't feel that it was as outstanding and unchartered as they had envisioned which is disappointing for fans of the brewery (as I most certainly am) but it does make you feel like they are in this for the right reasons.

We know the next release they concoct will be a really special one.

This aside, I'm extremely excited by this event and Saturday the 12th of February can't come quickly enough.

You can be sure there will be a post shortly after the event.

The Crafty Pint

2011-02-05T01:25:00.004+11:00

Simply put, The Crafty Pint is the best reference point for Victorian (soon to be covering other states of the country) micro brewed beer that there is.

Enough said. You needn't read on. Click on the link on the left and enjoy.

If you're defying me and have decided to continue reading then so be it.

The Crafty Pint is an up to date point of reference for all things relative to micro brewed beers.

The site features a rundown of Victorian breweries, bars and bottle shops and outlines the beer that they brew/bottle/tap with a reference map so you can locate the breweries or bars you like, or see what kind of venues you may have close by.

One of the joys of enjoying micro brewed beers in Victoria is when you can view The Crafty Pint to see any new beer releases that come up, read a description about the beer, see the current locations around Victoria that are tapping it or have them in bottles, and there go and enjoy them as they are released.

It's wonderful.

The Crafty Pint also provides an event calendar to keep us all up to date with any and all of the scheduled events held by bars, breweries and bottle shops.

It always pays to check the event calendar when planning any events of your own to make sure you aren't carelessly double booking yourself and missing out on something as vital and important as $5 Pint Night at Biero.

Imagine that.

If all this is not enough for you then you can get some solid editorial work with Crafty Pint offering certain features such as Q&A's with some brewers or prominent figures within the micro brew community or just a good run down over the latest countdown of the Local Taphouse's Hottest 100 brews.

Are you still here?

Go and look and The Crafty Pint for goodness sake.

The Hottest 100

2011-01-24T00:05:00.004+11:00

What a great idea!

The Local Taphouse is conducting the Hottest 100 of craft beer for the year. Modeled from Triple J's Hottest 100 for the most popular tracks voted by the public, the natural partner for an Australia Day summer countdown of our favourite music.

Many Aussies will be enjoying a cold beer while counting down the songs of the year so what better time to celebrate the best Australian craft beers of the year?

Marriage made in heaven.

This poll has actually made me think about, and has excited me more than the Triple J's Hottest 100 so I'll be eagerly awaiting the results on the 26th of January.

Have a good Australia Day folks.

Moon Dog

2011-01-11T01:10:00.004+11:00

The most exciting thing in Victorian craft brewing is growing.

The amazing Gingerbread Ale.

If you haven't heard of the Moon Dog Brewery then you need to do what you can to educate yourselves. Currently tough to come across, but just keep your fingers on the pulse.

If you managed to get to Biero over the Christmas period then you might have been able to experience the Christmas carols for the taste buds that is the Moon Dog Gingerbread Ale.

Writing a post about this is difficult as when I had the inaugural ale from the boys from Moon Dog it left me speechless. Every sip had just as much glory as the last.

"Glory" is a strange adjective to use for tasting beer but I'm not going to retract it.

The taste is a strong, delicious gingerbread taste and is incredibly smooth and silky. It actually tastes better than any actual gingerbread that I've ever had.

The Gingerbread Ale instantly catapulted into the top position in my list of most unique beers from the year 2010 narrowly topping the 2 Brothers James Brown Belgian Ale. As it was only tasted in the last two weeks of December the James Brown was unlucky to get pipped at the post.

This is a strong precedent to set for this young brewery to maintain, but one is eagerly awaiting the Local Taphouse's Great SpecTAPular to see the next beer these lads will attempt. Sources say that it might be a red ale with a twist, but whatever it turns out to be we know that it will be on the extreme end of the scale.

We're all looking forward to it, Moon Dog.

Spoilt for choice?

2011-01-09T16:54:00.002+11:00

Okay, I just want to clarify one thing before this post.

I love Biero.

It probably has the best bottled beer selection in the Melbourne CBD, it has twelve taps that constantly rotate high quality craft beer and they have the unique BeerVaults that give you the chance to have bottled beer on tap, without having to buy the bottle.

Currently, and until further notice, on a Wednesday night they offer $5 pints of everything they have on tap.

Amazing. I mean, amazing.

The selection is always first rate and usually there are one or two absolute standouts that make you realise why you love beer in the first place.

One thing I have noticed is that the quality of the brews can dwarf some of the middle tier beers.

My case in point in this instance is the Beard and Brau Red Tail. Last Wednesday I had a pint of the Red Tail at Biero and I found it very pleasant as a simple red ale but it didn't really strike me as a great, interesting beer.

Only a few days later I picked up a selection of Beard and Brau's from Blackheart & Sparrows and when I got to the Red Tail I was taken aback. It took on a whole other character. A lot more depth and complexity of it's flavour and it just seemed to be more rounded altogether.

There are numerous explanations for why it mightn't have been as good at Biero, but it got me to thinking if the high quality beers there taint some of the good, middle tier beers you might have there.

It is a shame that this occurs, but I guess if it's due to comparing them to really high quality craft beers then that's a pretty good quandary.

I don't think there's anything you can really take from this except to give a second chance every now and then and not be so judgmental.

Maybe it's just me that is very judgmental?

Bah... end transmission.